Kids, School & Family Life Jokes
Welcome to the Family Room of the Old Jokes Home. Kids say the strangest things, parents do their best (apparently) and nobody’s entirely sure who started it. Settle in for chaos, charm and the real reason adults need naps.
Teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect, for which I am eternally grapefruit.
“Mum, am I adopted?”
“No son, but there’s still time.”
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn't actually mine. She added that I need to pay more attention when doing the school pick up.
I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning and she asked me, "How do you know it was on its way to work?"
Teacher: “Give me a sentence which includes the words, Defence, Defeat and Detail.”
Little Johnnie: “When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.”
A little boy kills a butterfly.
Dad says, "No butter for you for two weeks!"
The little boy then kills a honeybee and Dad says, "No honey for you for two weeks!"
Mom kills a cockroach and the little boy turns to his Dad and says “Are you going to tell her or should I?”
I'm not saying I'm old but when I was in school, we made ashtrays for our parents in art class.
EIGHT QUID to see Father Christmas!! And I had to queue for ages for a ONE minute meeting and I received a rubbish toy – what a rip off – I’m FUMING! So glad I never took the kids.